cherrypopsicle

Anna Taylor
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Futile

1 min read
I think futile is an ugly word. One of utter desperation, and pure discrimination. It means that no matter what you do or how hard you try, you will fail. But as childish as it may seem, i think there's a chance at absolutely everything. So I only used the word "futile", when sarcastically mocking English poets of the 1800s. Lately, however, I started a project, where i wanted to learn as much about a certain subject as a friend, who had been studying this for 10 years. i wanted to learn it all in months. Not to mention he was STILL learning, and I'm starting to realize, that "futile", as harsh a word that is... Has officially come into my life with a strong meaning. Now, i still hate the word, for it is, in fact, a hideous word.
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Lost my love

2 min read
Just a few months ago. You were calling me every night, and telling me I was the one. Now, I'm sitting at this godforsaken computer, telling no one how I lost you. My love, my dear, my only. Even though I can barely see the keys through my tears, this is my story: We meet in school, math class, my least favorite subject. It wasn't love at first sight, but it definitely was something special. Later in December, you asked me out. I had no intention on being connected to you in any way, I thought it'd be another fling. I was to young to find the love of my life. When you found me, I had plenty of scars, I didn't believe in true love. As months passed, and we got in trouble together, and arguments, and drama came more than went... We always kept our love. It pushed me through more in my life than anyone should have to bear. I made a mistake though. I didn't know the pain it put you through, I didn't know it was killing you. Your friends were saying I was a cheater, a liar, that I was going to leave you. As stupid and childish as it sounds, we had true love, and i still believe you're the one for me. I can't find one flaw in you, I love you unconditionally, I'll wait however long it takes for you to see that I'm always going to be here for you. No one could love you more than me, I swear it. There's only one thing I want anymore, and it's for you to be happy, and I'll do whatever it take for you to feel that way. I know you feel I hurt you, and that kill me more than anything. It haunts me everyday, it still makes me cry, I can't stop thinking about, I know it sounds like I'm obsessing. But you can't just live with the fact you hurt someone who truly loved you, and who you love with every fiber of your being and let that go. Everything I do now, it relates to you in some way. God I love you, god I want you, and good god I need you... Be happy love.
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Futile by cherrypopsicle, journal

Lost my love by cherrypopsicle, journal